Find Me, Save Me
by lookonthebrighterside
Summary: It's not meant to be a normal day if Blaine comes home and there's someone curled up by the front door.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new Seblaine fic. It will be multichaptered, angsty, and I kind of hope it breaks hearts. That's terrible right? Oops! There will also be some Klaine, but not much. It's gonna get dramatic!**

**I hope everyone really enjoys this because I'm loving writing it!**

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><p>The sound of a engine backfiring startled Sebastian were he sat silently against the front door of Blaine's house. He couldn't honestly say how long he had been there, head tucked into the dark space created by his arms being wrapped around his legs. He may have dozed off once or twice, regardless of the dismal temperature and his lack of a proper coat. His hoodie was wrapped so tight around his body, he was pretty sure he had almost made it a second skin.<p>

"Sebastian?" a confused voice called as a door shut quietly.

He looked up, eyes still rimmed red and hair unnaturally messy. He looked terrible, and somewhere in his mind that bothered him, but it wasn't bad enough to want to put forth the effort to hide any of it.

"Blaine," he mumbled, looking up at the welcome face of someone who certainly didn't want him around.

"Sebastian, you look horrible."

He couldn't help but snort, leaning his head back against the door with a soft thud that resonated in his skull and left a dull aching in it's wake. The pain didn't bother him; it was a welcome relief from the thoughts he had been chasing around in his brain all day.

"Thanks for stating the obvious." he replied belatedly, eyes drifting shut. His normal nonchalance was absent and it was clear something was off. If he was being honest, he didn't know why he was here. Blaine hadn't spoken to him in months. After Kurt left for New York, they had cut off all contact. He had first assumed it was because Blaine didn't trust him, but now? He didn't care why. He just needed somewhere... Someone.

Not that he'd admit that. Ever.

"Do you... want to come in?"

He opened his eyes again, taking in the confused look Blaine was wearing. He could tell Blaine wasn't too sure of the offer, but was too polite not to do it. He had been raised better than that, or some other bullshit excuse he'd give if Sebastian asked why.

"Sure." he retorted anyway, standing up slowly and wincing a little as he stretched his legs. He checked his watch idly, noting that it had definitely been at least five hours since he left Dalton.

Five hours, sitting in front of a door that led into an empty house, that was home to a boy that couldn't stand him. He had sunk so low.

He watched as Blaine opened the door, resisting the urge to wrap his arms around himself and go back to crying.

Not that he did that. Hell no. Sebastian didn't cry.

"Come on in." Blaine said softly, pushing open the door and leading the way in. Sebastian followed awkwardly, looking around as Blaine dropped his bag off to the side. "Do you want something to drink?"

The foyer (because there was literally nothing else he could call their lavish entryway that wasn't too plain) was bright and inviting, giving a sense of home that he hadn't seen in quite a few years.

Instantly, he wanted to run.

"I shouldn't even be here." he mumbled finally, turning to walk back out. He had no illusions that Blaine would stop him. In fact, he was sure he heard a sigh of relief from being him until a hand grabbed his upper arm tightly.

"No way." a quiet voice commanded, making him stop. "You look like hell, Sebastian. You were sitting on my porch for God knows how long, you're obviously messed up somehow... Do you really think I'm going to let you walk out?"

He turned to find Blaine looking more fierce then he could ever imagine possible.

"Oh, cut the crap. You don't want me here." he snapped back, jumping straight to the defensive. It was one thing if he knew he was a mess, but a wholly other thing for Blaine to point it out to him.

"True." Blaine agreed instantly, making his stomach lurch slightly. "You're right. If I had to choose between finding you on my porch or coming home to be alone, I'd also choose the second option." he continued, making Sebastian feel worse by the second. "However... I did find you here, and I'm not just going to let you leave without an explanation." he added softly, almost like he was trying to comfort him.

It was bullshit.

"Stop being a fucking martyr." Sebastian grumbled, tugging his arm away and going over to the door again. "Thanks for your porch, though."

Blaine watched him go silently and Sebastian could feel eyes on his back all the way down the driveway. He hunched down into his jacket, flipping the hood up and burying his hands in his pockets. He wanted to believe that was the end of that. He'd go home and deal with his own problems, and Blaine would pretend he was never there.

Too bad he knew Blaine at least well enough to know that was never, ever going to happen.

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><p>Blaine sat at his desk, pencil tapping on his Biology book, but his eyes not focusing on anything. He was staring out the window as sheets of rain beat against it, and he couldn't help but wonder if Sebastian made it back to Dalton before all of this started. It wasn't too far but he had been on foot...<p>

_'It doesn't matter. He left. Don't worry about him.'_

The thoughts were hallow. He was trying to let himself off the hook and get out of helping someone who obviously desperately needed it. The look in Sebastian's eyes when he had first lifted his head;

Frantic. Scared. Lost.

There wasn't a bit of conceit to be found and his smirk had been wiped clean away and Blaine found the whole image unsettling. It had been burnt into his mind, flashing like a beacon every time he tried to force his mind onto something else.

He had tried everything to make it stop. Calling Kurt had been a bust, because he was at rehearsal. Convincing himself it was another ploy hadn't worked either. Even the most practiced actor would never be that convincing. Studying was obviously failing him.

Picking up his phone of the edge of the desk, he scrolled through his contacts slowly until he found Sebastian's number. His finger hesitated only briefly over the green button before he clicked it quickly.

Three rings and then...

_"You're reached the voicemail of Sebastian Smythe. Leave a message if you really think I care."_

He sighed heavily, hanging up before the beep and tossing his phone on the bed. He almost had himself convinced there was nothing else he could do, but that wasn't fair.

He'd try again in the morning. He had to, because if he didn't, he'd be picturing those frightened and miserable eyes for the rest of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! First of all, THANK YOU! I love when people review and stuff, because it just inspires me to write faster. Who else would I write this for, after all? ;)**

**Secondly, I want to let you all know that yes, I am aware these chapters are short. Which is why I don't call them chapters. I call them parts. I write short. There will be a lot of them, in the end, because that's just what I'm comfortable with. The good news? I have three parts already written after this! It's not like you have to wait for that! **

**Okay, so yes. Thank you and I love you all. Have kisses and love and things. **

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

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><p>Sebastian woke the next morning with the sense that the previous day had been a horrible dream.<p>

Maybe a nightmare.

Kicking his legs, which were still stiff from sitting for hours and then walking all the way to school, he tried to break free of the tangled mess of sheets wrapped around them. An irritated beeping sound was coming from somewhere near his desk and he knew it was the reason he was awake now and he wanted it to stop.

Finally, he freed one leg, only to roll over and find there was no bed to support him. He hit the floor with a soft _humph_, pain shooting up his back.

Really, whose bright idea was it to make Dalton beds so tall?

"Dude, quiet!" his roommate, Todd, groaned, rolling over across the room and pulling a pillow over his head.

Sebastian ignored the request, getting up and throwing his sheets on his bed again before scrambling around for his pants. The phone beeped again, as if it were letting him know where to find it. Scooping up the denim, he searched his pockets until he found the noise machine.

_3 missed calls from Blaine Anderson_

Fucking fantastic.

He silenced his phone, throwing it on the bed with his sheets and considering them both offensive and irritated. He made as much noise as possible, getting a change of clothes and his bathroom things to wash up. Crying and being outside for hours made him feel disgusting.

"I'm requesting a new roommate!" Todd called as he stepped out into the hallway.

"Good! You smell terrible!" he shot back before slamming the door shut and padding down the hall, his boxers the only thing covering him from the rest of the boys who were just trying to get ready for their day. Really, who needed decency here? They all looked the same to some extent.

In the shared bathroom, he stopped by the mirror first and a grimace spread across his face at his reflection. His hair was in disgusting tangles, his eyes were bloodshot, and his lips were chapped from the cold.

He looked like hell, just like Blaine said.

Flinging his towel over the mirror to hide his reflection, he made his way to the shower, intent on scrubbing away the memories of the previous day. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could pretend he hadn't gone to see his parents and the events that followed hadn't actually happened.

At least, he could hope as much. A shower was just as good as a fresh start, right? A clean slate of any kind should have been good enough.

3 missed calls.

He had really, really fucked up.

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><p>Blaine sat on his bed, once again ignoring the text books that surrounded him in favor of his cell phone background. The picture was of Kurt, sitting in Central Park, surrounded by trees and people. And he looked so happy.<p>

Sad eyes filled his vision again, but this time they weren't blue.

Sebastian.

He had already called a fourth time, officially making him seem desperate, and he really was sick of being ignored. He had half a mind just to go to Dalton and demand answers in person, but that seemed extreme. Admittedly, he had done some pretty extreme things to help people before, but still…

He dialed the number again, placing the phone to his ear, and prayed he'd get an answer.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

_"Do you ever quit?"_

He exhaled slowly, the tight knot in his chest loosening slightly. "Do you always show up on random people's porches and storm off with no explanation?" he replied easily, trying not to let him hear how relieved he was.

"Actually, I do. It's kinda my thing." came the retort, making him roll his eyes immediately. He could hear movement in the background, like clothes being rubbed together.

"Well, it's kind of my thing to never quit." he commented, unable to help but picture Sebastian changing.

Wait… What?

_'No, Blaine. Too far.'_

"Too bad. You could do much better things with your time." Sebastian said finally, blessedly breaking his train of thought. "Like, for instance, calling your boyfriend five times instead of me. I'm sure he'd rather hear from you anyway."

"You came to my house, remember?" Blaine scoffed immediately, completely dismissing the comment and forcing himself not to think about just how uncertain he was that Kurt would want to hear from him.

"Yeah, and I've been regretting it ever since."

There it was. The sadness. It had been so clear in his eyes, but in his voice it was deeper. It made him sound harder, more aggressive. The more he tried to hide it, the worse it became.

"I don't." Blaine said, surprising himself. It wasn't the complete truth, but he had a feeling acting like a jerk would only push Sebastian away at this point, and that was very counter productive. "Come back over."

There was silence on the other line for a long time and he had to check twice to make sure they were still connected.

"Sebastian?" he asked quietly.

"Don't ask if you don't want me there." he snapped finally, pain clear in the way he spoke.

"I wasn't asking." Blaine said finally. "I was telling you."

Again, silence, though this time it didn't last nearly as long. "Hope you don't regret this."

There was a click and Blaine looked at his phone, his background displayed again.

"I hope I don't either."


	3. Chapter 3

**AAAND WELCOME BACK. Again, this will be short but I've written up to half of chapter 7 by now so WE'RE GETTING IN DEPTH HERE PEOPLE. PREPARE YOUR BODIES. It's gonna get worse. Sorry.**

**Enjoy. Review. Love me unconditionally.**

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><p>It took an hour for Sebastian to get to Blaine's house, after getting ready and actually convincing himself to do it. As soon as he arrived, he wanted to turn around and go back. This was a horrible idea. It was going to lead to talking and feelings and he didn't want Blaine to pry.<p>

Still, he forced himself out of his car and up the steps. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand to knock, only to have the door pulled away from his hand at the last minute. Blaine stood on the other side, a look of serious determination in his eyes that told Sebastian he had been right not to want to come.

"Nice to see you, Blaine." he chirped happily, masking any discomfort he was feeling immediately. The more obvious he made it that he was okay, the more likely it was the Blaine would let this go. "That a new shirt? Looks great on you." he added when Blaine said nothing.

He could almost see Blaine resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he turned around, leading him back inside the house. "I would ask if you wanted anything to drink, but knowing you, the reply wouldn't be appropriate." he called over his shoulder.

Sebastian smirked a little, stepping inside and closing the door behind himself. "And you know me so well, right?" he muttered to himself, but followed him into the kitchen area anyway. Every instinct was screaming for him to run. This was bad. This was the worst possible idea he had ever had.

Blaine was standing by the open fridge when he entered, a can of Diet Coke in one hand while the other stretched toward the back of the fridge. It came back holding a regular Coke, which he tossed in Sebastian's direction before seating himself at the island in the middle of the room.

If Sebastian hadn't been watching him so closely, he would have missed the drink and gotten cold metal in the face. He caught it clumsily as it was, but it was better than the alternative. "Coke and a smile, right?" he teased as he went over to take the stool opposite Blaine.

"Fake smiles don't count." Blaine retorted, making him grimace. "That's more like it." he added when he noticed the expression. "Why don't we start with why you were here yesterday?"

Sebastian studied him for a moment, hands playing with his can as he looked him over speculatively. "Are you a shrink? Where's your framed certificate?" he asked in return, glad to have a way to avoid the question just that much longer.

Blaine glared at him briefly before shrugging. "Maybe I'm no professional, but it doesn't take one to know you need to talk about something." he replied calmly.

It was the calm, cool, and collected way about him that set Sebastian on edge. It wasn't right that he was so relaxed about this; so cavalier. It was as if all the problems of the world were so easily brushed away by just discussing them. If that's how Blaine looked at the world, great, but that didn't exactly work here.

"I don't talk." he snapped, his voice losing it's humor and adopting a darker, more irate, tone. "I fuck away my problems. And if that's not what you're offering, you're useless."

He stood up then, leaving the unopened soda on the counter and looking at Blaine in a way that was sure to make him feel minuscule. "I didn't come here to have you try and fix my bullshit, and we both know that. So, if you're not offering, I'm leaving."

Blaine followed his lead, standing as well. "You know I'm with Kurt." he replied quietly, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive gesture.

Sebastian laughed. "Did that ever bother me?" he asked simply, copying Blaine's stance. "Tell me, Blaine… Why am I here?"

There was a tense moment as Blaine made his way around the bar, stopping in front of Sebastian and looking him over. For just a second, they both wondered if this was really going to happen. Was Blaine finally giving in?

"If you won't talk, you're not going to get what you want."

Wait, what?

"Are you trying to make a deal with me about this?" Sebastian asked incredulously, not believing what he was hearing. Even in his wildest fantasies, he never expected Blaine to actually give in or offer him a chance.

"You heard me." Blaine replied coolly. "It's up to you." and with that, he turned to leave the room.

He didn't made it halfway down the hall when gentle but firm hands grabbed him from behind, pulling him flush against a taller, leaner body. Strong arms wrapped around his waist, holding him there as warm breath teased his neck.

"Are you sure I really need to talk?" Sebastian asked quietly. "Isn't it enough to make us both feel good?" he added temptingly, running his hands down Blaine's stomach.

Blaine grabbed his wrists, not pulling his hands away but not letting them fall any further down his body. "You really need to talk. Or no one's going to feel good today."

Sebastian pulled away, instantly irritated. "You're not my only option, you know." he growled out, tired of this back and forth they were doing now. It was grating on his nerves and only making him feel worse.

"I'm the only one that's said no, though." Blaine retorted, hitting the nail on the head. "You'll come around." he added bitingly.

Sebastian opened his mouth to reply but closed it immediately. If Blaine was going to bet against him, he'd prove him wrong. He had said all the wrong things and he needed to know that. "Bye, Blaine."

Blaine watched him walk out of the house, knowing he had set off Sebastian's determination to prove him wrong. He was also certain that he was right. He gave him a week. That's all it was going to take. He knew this just like he knew he was going to end up doing a lot of things he might regret if he kept letting him come around.

Unfortunately, his skin was still tingling from Sebastian's touch and he just couldn't make himself care.


	4. Chapter 4

**In honor of the release of Smooth Criminal and the beauty that is Chapter 8 being complete, I give you Chapter 4! Good luck folks. ;)**

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><p>Sebastian stood on his porch, back pressed to the cold brick of his house as he listened to the war being waged inside his house. It had been going on for hours and he could hear that the same arguments were being repeated over and over again, drawing out the fight to an exhausting extent.<p>

He was tired of it. He was so sick of the disagreements and the yelling. His head was pounding and he was cold, but there was no way he was going inside. Not while they were being like this. They were worse than children, and he made a point to avoid kids at all cost.

A beep in his front pocket made him jump, not realizing he had been tuning them out for some time now. Once his awareness was back, he could hear they were still screaming, only this time the subject was new. He didn't take the time to figure it out. Pulling out his phone, he already had a feeling he knew who it would be.

_Blaine Anderson: (9:28 P.M.)_  
><em>Meet me at Scandals. Now.<em>

He was pleasantly surprised by the request, considering that was anything but Blaine's scene, but he didn't even think to deny him. He was glad he had grabbed his keys before leaving his room, because he wasn't going back in for questioning. Not now. If they missed him, too fucking bad.

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><p>Blaine stood outside the bar, arms crossed over his chest to hold in some warmth as he watched each and every car that pulled in. The music thumped behind him and the constant flood of people moving past him and into the bar was a bit disconcerting. It was obviously already packed inside, if the amount of cars in the lot gave him an indication, but more kept coming.<p>

It had been his first idea. He wanted to try and talk to Sebastian again, for whatever insane reason, but he definitely didn't want it to be at his house. Being alone was a bad choice for both of them, and this was definitely his safer bet. Crowded, but not somewhere they hadn't been together before, which made it almost safe.

"Not your scene, is it, Blaine?"

He looked over at the voice calling to him and sighed. Lost in thought, he hadn't seen Sebastian pull in or get out of his car.

"You'd be surprised," he offered up quietly, for lack of anything better to say. The smirk he earned in return wasn't promising.

He figured the night would go one of two ways; he'd get Sebastian to open up, or he'd get groped until he gave up. Some part of his mind prayed for the first option, but he couldn't seem to beat down the part of him that didn't mind either way.

This was bad. He shouldn't have planned to do this or even still be trying to help him, after what happened in his house a few days ago and the subsequent feelings it left him with, but he didn't know how to give up.

"So, did you miss me that much?" Sebastian asked then, his cheeky, annoying personality firmly in place as he slung his arm over Blaine's shoulder.

Not even bothering to brush him off, Blaine rolled his eyes. "Of course. More than anything." Blaine replied sarcastically, figuring he'd have a better shot at getting something out of him if he played into his games. This statement caused Sebastian to laugh, a nice sound that made Blaine's stomach tingle a little.

_'Think about Kurt.'_ He told himself, hating that it was coming down to this. And he just kept putting himself in this position!

"Are you going to buy me a drink or are we just going to stand here while you tease me?" Blaine asked finally, knowing that this back and forth would get them no where. Jumping straight to the point was his best bet.

Sebastian looked a little shocked by the boldness of the question before chuckling softly. "Are you forgetting that you invited me here?" he questioned, though he did lead the way over to get in line with Blaine.

"Actually, I technically just told you to show up. You came of your own accord." Blaine replied easily enough, apparently already having thought through all of this.

This made Sebastian laugh even harder as he showed the bouncer his fake ID and waited for Blaine to get clearance. "Blaine, there's this whole other side to you. I wonder if it's just you opening up to me or the lack of Hummel's presences that's finally letting me see it." he said, following after Blaine as they entered.

The music level increased as soon as they stepped through the door, meaning he had to raise his voice to be heard, but that was fine. His plan was to get Blaine on the dance floor and then forget about discussion for the remainder of the night.

Leading them up to the bar, Sebastian took a seat and immediately called the attention of the bartender. Blaine sat next to him awkwardly, thinking it would be best not to drink too much. Without Kurt around, he could only imagine what Sebastian would do. Still...

One drink wouldn't hurt him, right?


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the slower update. I don't think it's been that long, but it's felt like months! Work has been killing me, but here we go! Chapter five! And... Well, just prepare to angst your hearts out. **

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><p>"Sebastian, did I ever tell you that you're a great singer?"<p>

Looking over at the barstool next to him, Sebastian smiled slightly. Blaine was on his fifth drink, that Sebastian knew of, not all of which were given to him by Sebastian himself. God only knows what he had ingested and he was so small, it was obviously having a strong effect on him.

"No, Blaine, you haven't." he replied, though that was a lie. He had been saying it every thirty minutes for the past three hours. It started out as a good singer and was slowly progressing.

"No, you're fantastic. When you were singing with Nick? In Uptown Girl? It was amazing." Blaine continued, picking up his almost empty cup. He looked around with a small pout, seemingly disappointed with the lack of service at the bar.

Regardless of his enjoyment when Blaine complimented him, he figured allowing him to seek out a new sugar daddy was a bad plan. The later it got, the rougher the crowd looked, and he refused to be responsible if Blaine ended up on the back of some biker's Harley, headed toward God knows where.

"Let's get you home." he said as he stood up, taking the cup from Blaine's hand. The outraged look on his face would have been comical if it hadn't been followed by a slur of insults about Sebastian's hair.

"I want my drink back!" he barked angrily, reached for the cup that Sebastian was holding at arm's length.

"This cup smells like shit." Sebastian commented, sneering at the offensive scent wafting toward him from the glass. "What have you been drinking?" he asked, his voice now demanding rather than scolding.

Blaine stopped his mad grab for the cup, looking thoughtful at the question. A confused mask clouded his features as he tried to recall whatever it was he had had, but nothing seemed to be coming.

Sighing, Sebastian set the cup back on the bar, wrapping his arm around Blaine's waist and tugging him off his stool. There was an awkward moment of adjustment before Blaine got his footing, but Sebastian stayed surprisingly patient.

"I don't wanna go. I like it here." Blaine commented as they headed toward the door. He was half walking, half being dragged as he tried to refuse to move. Sebastian was forceful, though, and he had a hard time keeping his footing.

"You're not gonna like it when Chains and Leather over there decide they like you." Sebastian replied, nodding toward a pair of guys that were currently watching them. Blaine followed his gaze, taking a moment to register what he was seeing before grimacing. "Exactly. Now walk." Sebastian urged, tired of dragging him already.

Once outside, the cool air seemed to snap Blaine out of his alcohol induced haze, at least minimally. He stood without support, at least, and that was something. Sebastian stretched his arms over his head, popping the joints in his shoulders and almost moaning at how good it felt.

Looking over, he caught Blaine's eyes lingering on the small strip of skin exposed by his lifted shirt. "Watch yourself, Blaine. I don't think Kurt's going to appreciate that." he teased lightly, though he could feel himself slipping into his usual snarky and conceited mode at the small amount of attention.

Blaine looked away, but there was a hardness to his eyes now. "Who cares?" he mumbled, kicked at an empty can in front of him. He missed the first few tries but eventually he sent it sailing between two cars and pinging off the bumper of a third.

"Trouble in paradise?" Sebastian asked, cocking one eyebrow in fake interest. He hardly cared about Blaine's relationship problems. He had enough issues of his own without adding Blaine's life to it.

"It's none of your business!" Blaine snapped, sounding more frustrated and angry then Sebastian could ever remember him being. That was saying something, because Sebastian was often the source of his anger.

"He won't talk to me!"

This caused Sebastian to halt any remark he had been ready to make, looking at Blaine in shock.

"He doesn't text back unless I practically blow his phone up, he never answers my calls, and I get the feeling he doesn't care either!" Blaine continued to rant, plopping down on the curb in front of the bar and letting his head fall into his hands. His fingers twisted in his hair in frustration and he finally let go of all the feelings he had been holding in for so long. He hadn't had anyone to talk to about all of this, because all of his friends were Kurt's friends too and he just refused to paint him in a bad light to anyone.

But Sebastian already disliked him...

No. That didn't make it okay. Kurt was still his boyfriend and he still loved him.

"What if he doesn't feel the same?" Sebastian asked suddenly, making Blaine realize he hadn't just been thinking these things. He had been saying them out loud.

"Fuck you." he spat out, his stomach twisting painfully at the very idea.

"New York's a big place, Blaine. And they're all for equality over there. Who knows how many hunky gay men he's met that are just his type."

Sebastian knew it was mean. In fact, it was cruel. It was the worst thing he could have said to Blaine at that moment and he was already struggling with his guilt.

It was also the perfect opportunity. What better way to get Blaine to leave him alone than to poke at the wound he was nursing? Rubbing salt in his cuts and amplifying the hurt he already had would surely push him away.

It would hurt. It would hurt more than he was willing to admit, because watching Blaine walk away over and over again was one of the things that stung the most for him. But he was ready for it. In fact, he deserved it.

What he wasn't ready for was the fist that connected with his jaw when he wasn't looking. He immediately stumbled back, falling against the trunk of a car and grabbing it for support as the entire left side of his face ached.

"Fuck you! You don't know anything!" Blaine yelled at him, hands balled up so tightly that his knuckles were white. "You just shut the fuck up and leave me alone! You're so pretentious and I can't believe I ever thought you deserved my help!" he screamed now, tears swimming in his eyes. "Just suffer!" he added before storming off to his car, not wanting Sebastian to see him cry. Not now. Not after that.

Sinking to the pavement, Sebastian touched his jaw softly as he watched Blaine's back shrink until he turned between two vehicles.

It was exactly what he had wanted to happen.

So why the hell did it hurt so bad?


	6. Chapter 6

**LET THE ANGST BEGIN.**

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><p><strong>Sebastian Smythe: (12:47 A.M.)<strong>

Blaine...

**Sebastian Smythe: (1:10 A.M.)**  
>Blaine, please...<p>

**Sebastian Smythe: (1:22 A.M.)**  
>Blaine, I'm sorry...<p>

**Sebastian Smythe: (1:50 A.M.)**  
>Fuck it. Nevermind. I'm not sorry.<p>

**Sebastian Smythe: (2:01 A.M.)**  
>Nice right hook by the way.<p>

Blaine looked at his inbox, feeling a dull aching in his skull as he recalled all the memories from the previous night. He premonition had been true; going to Scandals had been his worst idea to date. Getting drunk had been one thing, but then breaking down to Sebastian about Kurt? That was too far, even if for him. And he had done some stupid things when he was drunk.

He cleared his messages, making sure all evidence of his encounters with Sebastian in the past week were gone from his phone, before dialing Kurt's number.

"Blaine," a quiet voice answered after a few rings.

The sigh of relief was loud, but Blaine didn't care. He had missed Kurt's voice so much and he felt the tightness in his chest loosen. "Oh my god, Kurt, finally," he said, but was interrupted.

"Listen, I'm on my way to class so can we make this quick?"

He hesitated, listening to the bustle of sounds around Kurt. Cars and honking and people talking. Obviously he couldn't accuse him of lying; he was definitely headed somewhere. Still, he couldn't help but feel his anger come back to him.

"Sure. Quick." he replied snappishly. "Just like every time we talk recently, right?"

There was a shift in the sounds coming from the other line and Kurt's voice dropped to a whisper when he spoke. "You're really picking a fight with me, Blaine?" he asked indignantly, trying not to raise his voice himself.

"No, Kurt. I was calling to talk to you because I miss you and I haven't heard your voice in a week." Blaine replied immediately, running his fingers through his hair and sighing. "This wasn't supposed to be a fight."

Kurt was quiet for a moment. "I'm busy. Sorry." he said softly, sounding far less irritated. "I miss you." he added.

Blaine didn't reply immediately. He had expected more. An 'I love you' or something more well thought-out, maybe? Kurt had never been the more verbose of the pair of them, but he had never been afraid to express himself either. 'I miss you' was terrifyingly simply in comparison to some of his sentiments early on in their separation.

"Miss you too." he said finally, just sounding tired now. "I'll let you get to class. Call me when you can." Without another word, he hung up quickly.

The time flashed up at him from the front display on the phone, telling him the phone call had lasted almost two minutes. That was all. An entire week of texts on occasion and emails once a day and that was all they got. Two minutes.

When Kurt had first left, he called constantly. Both of them spent a good majority of the year hiding out between classes just to talk. They spent whole nights on the phone, both of them refusing to hang up and eventually falling asleep that way.

Two minutes for an entire week.

How had things fallen so far?

Memories flooded back to him as he fell back onto his bed, arm flung across his face to block out the rest of the world. When Kurt transfered back to McKinley, he had promised.

_'I'm never saying goodbye to you.'_

When he had been hurt so deeply at prom and Blaine could do nothing but sit there and let Kurt struggle with his own feelings, he had made it clear then as well.

_'They can't touch us, or what we have.'_

What had happened to them? Where did things go so wrong that this was what they were left with?

What if Sebastian was right?

He tried to ignore the thought but it persisted, banging around in his skull and making a mess of any belief he had that his relationship with Kurt was strong enough to withstand anything. What if Kurt had found someone else? Someone better? Someone who was there?

He pushed the thoughts away, jumping up and digging around for his duffle bag. Maybe he couldn't fix what was happening now, but he could pretend it wasn't happening at all. It had been a long time since he'd gone to the gym, his usual place for avoiding any thoughts he didn't like, but now seemed like the perfect opportunity.

What better way to get out his frustration than pretending a punching bag was Sebastian's face?

* * *

><p>"Why are you even here?"<p>

Sebastian spun on his heels, looking over at his mother standing in the doorway. He dropped the bag in his hands, looking around the room. "Last time I checked, this was still my bedroom!" he yelled in reply, angry now.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" she shot back, her eyes frantic as she looked down the hallway again. "You know he'll be home any minute! Do you want a repeat of last week?" she asked, her voice dropping lower, trying to sound menacing.

He rolled his eyes, scooping up the bag again and heading for the closet. "I need clothes. He'll get over it." he snapped, flinging the door open hard enough that it bounced off the wall as he stepped inside, ignoring it as he started ripping shirts off hangers and shoving the into the backpack.

"Sebastian! He's still angry!" she continued nervously, never leaving the doorway. He didn't miss the way her hand was poised on the doorknob, like shutting it the minute his car pulled up would stop him from coming inside once he noticed the other car in the driveway.

"Do I look like I give a fuck? What could he really do, after last time?" he argued, coming out and slamming the door shut.

"Language." she scolded, but he merely laughed as he rifled through his drawers, grabbing a few things. If he was being honest, he hoped his dad would come home. He wanted to see him, to say all the things he had been thinking since they last talked.

Well... Talking wasn't really the world for it. It was more Andrew Smythe laying down his law and Sebastian being forced to endure it.

It was all bullshit.

Zipping the bag shut and slinging it over his shoulder, he turned back to his mother. "You know, I heard a woman say once that she would do anything to protect her child. In fact, I hear that a lot." he commented bitingly. She winced, but said nothing, so he continued. "So, when he had me against the wall last week, treating me like one of his boxing buddies, how hard was it to just stand there and watch?"

Pushing past her, he tuned out any response she could have made as he headed downstairs. He didn't care. He had missed it his entire life, but it had always been this way.

She would always force him to leave the house or make him lock himself in his bedroom when he father was angry. For years he convinced himself it was her way of protect him, but now? After the last time? He knew better. She didn't care. She'd stand aside and watch and not say a word, because God forbid she be the target.

She'd let her gay son do it instead.


	7. Chapter 7

**SAY HELLO TO CHAPTER SEVEN. No real warnings. Just prepare yourselves.**

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><p>The next few days were a blur for Blaine. Kurt never called. He didn't text again or email. For all intents and purposes, he had disappeared. A blimp on the radar, here one second and gone the next.<p>

Some part of Blaine didn't care. He didn't feel hurt by it or angry anymore. He was honestly just numb. The twisted feeling in his stomach that used to accompany thoughts of Kurt's distance was gone now. The tears that usually sprung up in his eyes when he thought of how long it had been never came.

He didn't feel anything anymore. A small part of him knew this was bad, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He preferred it this way. No pain, no heartbreak. If things were over, at least he didn't have to cry himself to sleep at night.

He spent an obsured amount of time at the gym. Christmas break was drawing closer, but he wasn't participating in the holiday cheer around him. He hadn't gone to glee club in weeks anyway and no one there bothered to try and contact him. His senior year was blurring by in a haze of loneliness, but again, he was too numb to notice.

Honestly, the only thing that made him feel anything was Sebastian. Thoughts of him crossing Blaine's mind at random intervals, their last encounter being the most dominant. That memory itself caused anger in him, but other times it was different. Regret for hitting him. Disappointment that he had never been able to help him.

Mostly he remembered seeing him on his porch that first day. It could hardly be possible that that had been at least eleven days ago, with the crystal clear memory he had of it. Even now, sitting in Math class, ignoring his teacher, he could picture the bloodshot eyes and the raw emotion he had see there when he approached him.

He had been so broken. Just like Blaine.

Standing up suddenly, he drew the attention of all the students around him.

"Mr. Anderson," the teacher said sharply, hating to be interrupted in the middle of a lecture. "Is there something wrong?"

"I think I'm going to be sick, Mrs. Kelso." he replied immediately, not even sure if he really looked sick. He didn't wait for a dismal, knowing she couldn't stop him from leaving if he really was sick.

He grabbed his bag and almost ran from the room, keeping up the act until he reached the restroom. Ducking inside, he checked all the stalls before locking the door and pulling out his cell phone.

He had been tempted to just call, but he knew Sebastian was supposed to be in class.

_'A text would be enough,'_ he decided, typing out a quick demand and hitting send. It was reckless, all things considered, but he wasn't going to stop himself.

Sebastian made him feel. He just wanted to know how far that went.

* * *

><p>Sebastian left his last class as soon as they were dismissed, not speaking to anyone as he headed back to his dorm room. He had solid plans to crawl in bed and not come out until the following morning. Lather, rinse, repeat.<p>

Pulling out his phone to check to make sure neither of his parents had called, he was surprised to find a text waiting.

**Blaine Anderson: (1:43 P.M.)**  
><strong>Come to my house as soon as you get out of school. You win.<strong>

He wasn't sure exactly what he had won, but the message seemed rather promising. Entering his room, he dropped his bag on the floor and gave his bed a fleeting look. Blaine or sleep.

The choice was rather obvious.

He left Dalton without a word to anyone, almost positive he was speeding as he made his way toward Blaine's house. It was close, but he was eager. And who could really blame him? Getting what you want after being denied for so long was truly satisfying and he wanted to waste no time.

When he pulled up, he saw Blaine standing on the porch. The look on his face was one of pure determination, standing with his arms crossed, leaned back against the front door.

Getting out, Sebastian watched him as he approached, taking the steps slowly. Suddenly, he was anxious. What if this was just another attempt on Blaine's part to get him to talk? He still hadn't given in on that and he had no plans to, no matter what Blaine was offering now.

"Let's get one thing straight," Blaine said coolly, his voice unusually distant and uncaring. It took Sebastian by surprise and all he could do was nod. "I'm using you right now. This isn't out of an feelings or emotions. You're not getting me to fall in love with or anything. In fact, I couldn't give two shits about you."

This caused Sebastian to smirk. "Great. It's better that way." he agreed finally, feeling a sense of triumph wash over him.

"No questions. No talking. The most I want out of your mouth is how amazing I am, got it?" Blaine added, pushing away from the door and looking up at him slightly.

Looking back down at him, Sebastian was pretty sure he was going into shock. This was so unlike Blaine, who was usually so calm and collected and... so unlike Sebastian himself. In this moment, however, he couldn't find many differences in them.

"Perfect." he replied before pushing Blaine back against the door, attaching their lips immediately. When he met no resistance, he reached behind Blaine and turned the knob, allowing them inside.

"Couch or bedroom?"


	8. Chapter 8

**More angst guys! In fact... Just expect angst from here on out. I haven't written anything happy and I'm on chapter 11... So... DEEP BREATHS. **

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><p>For the next few hours, everything was rough touches, loud moans, and tangled sheets for Blaine. He didn't think of Kurt or what was going on outside of his bedroom. He kept his focus firmly in the present and in the way it felt as Sebastian bent him over the side of the bed to give him exactly what he had asked for;<p>

A distraction. An easy out for all of the trouble he had caused in his own life. Sebastian was giving him a way to forget and it was utter bliss.

It also didn't hurt that Sebastian was extremely good with his tongue.

Laying in bed, he looked out the window as the sun was starting to fall. He had no idea what time it was exactly, but it didn't matter. It had definitely been quite a while since this began and he knew it would have to end soon.

Soft fingers traced patterns on his back and he rolled over, looking at Sebastian. "You should go." he said quietly, getting up and looking around for pants. Spotting Sebastian's on the floor, he scooped them up and tossed them in his direction.

There was a rustling noise behind him as he dug through his dresser, pulling out a pair of sweats and slipping into them.

Sebastian watched him quietly as he buttoned his shirt. "I think I liked you better when you were moral." he said finally, sitting down on the edge of the bed to slip his shoes on.

Blaine turned to look at him, perching himself on the edge of his dresser. "What does that mean, exactly?" he asked irritably.

Standing, Sebastian walked across the room to place himself in front of him. "You like this is hot, don't get me wrong. All uncaring and totally fuckable. It's fantastic." he admitted, wondering exactly where he was going with this. He reached out, tracing a finger down Blaine's chest slowly and hooking it under the waistband of his sweats. "But you were much more likable when you gave a shit." he added, letting go and turning away from him.

Blaine laughed softly. "Wait, so you're saying you have feelings?" he asked jokingly. "That's a miracle in itself. They should knight me or something. Sir Blaine, Tamer of the Man Whore."

Sebastian smirked at that, grabbing his blazer from Blaine's desk chair and slipping it on. "You're right. Good for you." he replied sharply, turning to face him again. "You should be so proud." he added sarcastically.

This made Blaine scowl. "Get out."

"With pleasure." he replied, still smirking. "See you in a few days." he added with a wink before slipping out of the bedroom.

Blaine didn't follow him, glaring at where his back had disappeared through the doorway until he heard his phone ringing. Going over to his desk, he picked it up to find a text from Kurt.

**Kurt Hummel: (5:57 P.M.)**  
><strong>I still love you. Let's not fight.<strong>

He stared at the message for a long time, reading the seven words over and over again as he replayed what he had just done in his mind several times. Anger swelled up inside of him before long and he threw the phone at the closed door.

"Too fucking late." he mumbled, sinking into his chair as the reality of what had just happened set in.

He had cheated. Worse still, he hardly felt bad.

What had he become?

* * *

><p>Throwing his car into reverse, Sebastian peeled out of Blaine's driveway recklessly, sending pebbles and dust flying in his wake.<p>

What had he been thinking? In what part of his mind had it been a good idea to go fuck Blaine Anderson when he was already so messed up over him?

He hated himself. He hated Blaine and his stupid ideas and he hated the way it had physically pained him to leave that bedroom. He hated that Blaine calling him a whore had felt like a punch to the gut and even worse, he hated that Blaine no longer cared.

He saw the look in his eyes. The deadened, dull, lifeless look that had taken over when Blaine had rolled over to look at him. How could he miss it? He spent a good amount of his time around Blaine examining his eyes. Usually so full of life and joy, they had slowly become less and less bright in recent days.

Why hadn't he noticed before now? He had been so careful with his advances, only striking when he assumed... Well, when he assumed Blaine would say no. Maybe it was some sick game or his way of hurting himself, but he always asked when he knew he would be rejected.

What the hell was going on with them both now? Sebastian had his issues, sure, but that was nothing new. He'd always been this way. Ignoring his problems, sleeping around, and pretending things were good.

Blaine, however... That was nothing like him. Even a total stranger would know that. It just exuded from him; innocence and goodness. It was just him, in his very core. It was probably what had attracted Sebastian to him in the first place. At first it had been a challenge; take a virgin, make him less pure. Now, it seemed to be what was keeping him around.

He was falling in love with Blaine. Pure, caring, beautiful Blaine.

Or at least he used to be. Now he was wrecked, uncaring, a total mess...

_'Still beautiful.'_ he thought to himself as he drove. He had no destination in mind, but all these thoughts and realizations were keeping him from really bothering to take notice of direction. He didn't care anyway. He was making distance. Distance from Blaine and the mistake they had just made.

Because Sebastian had ruined him. He had taken everything that was still good about Blaine and ripped it away. Everything he had loved about him was gone, and he had done it himself.

He'd never forgive himself for that.


	9. Chapter 9

**ALRIGHT! So, I've finally started writing happier things! Or, close to it! ...But this isn't it so HOLD TIGHT. I'll be posting more because I'm writing more, but I go back to work tomorrow so we'll see if it keeps flowing like this. This ones one of the shortest yet, so I might post again today or tomorrow, just because!**

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><p><em>Nine days.<em>

_Nine days, seventeen hours._

_Nine days, seventeen hours, and forty minutes._

That's where he drew the line. Counting down the seconds made him pathetic. Of course, knowing the exact amount of minutes since he had last seen Blaine was pathetic enough in itself, but why make it worse?

_Forty-one minutes._

He had been doing this to himself since he left Blaine's house. It took him three hours to hate himself for walking out, two days to realize he shouldn't have, and five days to know he wasn't going to speak to Blaine until he reached out.

The selfish part of him refused to do it. He wanted Blaine to come to him. He wanted to be reached out to.

And he knew that was bullshit. Blaine had reached out to him so much since he made the mistake taking up residence on his porch. Calling, texting, trying to talk to him; Blaine had started all of this. He had cared enough to try.

Yet, sitting on his bed with his phone in his hand, watching the minutes tick on, Sebastian couldn't make himself do the same. He wanted to, really. He wanted to dial Blaine's number and apologize. He needed to tell him how sorry he was for taking advantage of him. As heartless as he could be, Blaine tore at something inside of him and gave him feelings.

It was honestly disgusting.

_Fifty minutes._

He opened his contacts. Scrolling until he found the shot he had snapped of Blaine in Lima one day, he clicked on the little picture. A list of contact information appeared, Blaine's name displayed in bright white over it all. A phone number, an email address, and he even had his Skype name saved.

All of the ways to communicate and he couldn't even press a damn button.

He shut it all down, tossing the phone to the edge of his bed and falling back onto his pillows. He was such a coward.

* * *

><p>The punching bag shook violently as Blaine's fists pounded into it. He was doing his best to shake the hook right out of the ceiling and, by the way it was rocking, he had a feeling he was getting close.<p>

The gym had become his home away from home. His day consisted of waking up, going to school, leaving early for the gym, and dragging himself into bed once he got kicked out. His parents didn't ask questions, but he got the feeling they didn't care.

For the first few nights, he slept on the couch, because his sheets smelled like sex and Sebastian.

Except he hadn't actually slept a wink that first night, with thoughts of Kurt and Sebastian and what he had done all waging a war inside of his brain. He had cried and tossed and turned, hating himself and then hating Sebastian and then hating Kurt. But it always came back to him. He was the one at fault here. He couldn't truly blame either of them for his decisions and he knew it.

So instead he fought. He fought guys at the gym, the punching bag, but mostly he fought himself. He fought his thoughts and he fought any decision making, because he knew there was a decision to be made.

To tell Kurt, or not to tell Kurt.

It seemed so simple, but he knew. Once the choice was made, there was no going back.

To keep Kurt, or to lose him.

The hook groaned in protest as the punches came faster and he shut down his thoughts.

He wouldn't decide now.

_Nine days, eighteen hours._


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay so here we go again. I told you, the angst isn't over. This sort of feelings like a filler, but it really is necessary. So here you go!**

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><p>As time passed, it became easier for Blaine to ignore Sebastian's calls. Autumn turned into winter and Christmas was approaching. Things were getting worse with Kurt and staying completely shut down where Sebastian was concerned. It was easy for Blaine to pretend everything with him had been one horrible nightmare, even when he couldn't ignore what had been happening elsewhere.<p>

His grades were slipping. The gym was almost a permanent home, to the point where he would skip classes just to be there. He didn't go to Glee club, ever, and he refused to sing anymore. There was no point. He had nothing to sing for now that Kurt was gone.

Which was such bullshit to him. He had been fine before Kurt. He sang and he had goals and he was happy. Life was great. Why was it some random guy he had just happened to meet was enough to ruin all of that? Why couldn't he just go back to the way he was before? Before Kurt, before McKinley, and before Sebastian?

_'Because you're an idiot and you fell in love.'_ he reminded himself cooly as he sat in the back of his Math class. It was the day before Christmas break and he had decided he might as well go this day, seeing as they wouldn't really be doing anything.

He had been tuning everyone out, lost in his thoughts, because that's just what he did now. He tuned out the world. It made everything so much easier, and eventually the world started to tune him out too.

It was with this mindset that he made his way into the hall, sidestepping anyone that wasn't already moving to get out of his way. He wasn't sure when it happened, but he had developed a reputation. He heard the whispers and he felt the stares, even when he was ignoring everyone. It was hard not to notice when people felt sorry for you. The rumors spread and he had heard it all.

_Kurt had a new boyfriend in New York. Blaine was depressed. Maybe Kurt was cheating on him. Maybe the loser club didn't want Blaine without Kurt._

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Because how could they know that Kurt hadn't done anything wrong except be busy? He wasn't around to defend himself, and Blaine certainly wasn't doing it for him. He was a stupid, selfish boyfriend, if he could even call himself that anymore.

"Blaine!"

His head shot up from where he had been digging around in his locker, wallowing of self-hatred and loathing for everything. Behind him, Tina and Artie were standing there with disapproving looks on their faces.

"What?" he asked, barely noticing how monotonous his voice sounded. The pair exchanged a worried look, which he immediately ignored. He didn't need sympathy from anyone, and most definitely not Kurt's friends.

"Are you okay?" Tina asked softly, her voice small and almost frightened sounding.

He didn't look up from his locker again as he shrugged. "Sure." he mumbled, shoving some folders into his backpack. "Don't you two have Glee club?" he asked before she could push it.

Tina opened her mouth to speak but a hand in her's stopped her as Artie shook his head. "We do..." he agreed, looking at Blaine seriously. "We'd love to see you there, though. Just think about it." he added before turning away, Tina in tow.

Blaine watched them go, not moving until they were around the corner. Slamming his locker shut, he gave a frustrated sigh before heading in the opposite direction.

He didn't need them, or Glee club. What he needed was to be honest. He had to stop being a coward.

He had to tell Kurt the truth.

* * *

><p>"Worthless piece of shit!"<p>

Sebastian flinched from his place on the bed as a fist slammed into his bedroom door. It was at least midnight, though his clock was somewhere across the room and broken, so he couldn't tell for sure. He was too nervous to even move to check his phone on the desk, so a guess was all he had.

'_How has it been five hours? He should have passed out by now.'_

Five hours of slamming, screaming, punching, throwing...

It was his first day home from break and already he wished Dalton allowed it's students to stay when school wasn't in session. He had barely stepped through the door and set his bag down before he was being pushed up against the wall and screamed at.

"I want you out of my house, you filthy faggot! You're disgusting!"

Another hard pound and silence.

He barely considered breathing as he waited. Thirty seconds. A minute. Two minutes.

Slowly, he got up and made his way over to the desk to check his phone. He had no messages or missed calls, but the screen told him it was almost one in the morning. Going over to the door, he checked the lock one more time before flipping his light on. He usually just used his lamp, but he was pretty sure it was somewhere next to the alarm clock.

Slowly, he started cleaning up his bedroom, wincing every time he had to bend over. If he had been able to get his dad out of the room faster, it wouldn't have been so bad. Usually, it's easy to push him out when he's drunk. One good shove and he would have been falling all over himself. Tonight, however, it was like his father had grown some superhuman resilience to his attempts. Between that, his words, and his fists, it had been a particularly brutal night.

Sitting down on his bed again, he unlocked his phone one more time. He typed in the number he knew by heart, but there wasn't any hope left in him. Five rings and straight to the tone, just like always.

"It's Sebastian. Again."

He hesitated. What could he say that he hadn't already said in a million other messages?

"Call me back."

Hanging up, he fell back onto his pillows, phone held tightly in his hand just in case he fell asleep. Maybe it was pathetic. In fact, he was sure it was. More often than not, however, he went to sleep with his phone in his hands. He spent hours praying it would ring before calling a number that might as well have been shut off, for all the good it did him.

As worried as he was about being home from school and all of the things that would surely happen in that time, he found that it couldn't trump his worry for Blaine. Ever-present and burning through him at all times, it only seemed to grow worse with every ignored phone call and every week that passed.

_'Desperate times call for desperate measures.'_ he thought, staring up at the ceiling.

If only he could find the courage to actually do what he felt he should do.


	11. Chapter 11

**LONG AN COMING UP HERE.**

**I just wanted to say_ thank you_. From the very bottom of my heart. I've never had a story of mine get this much feedback and it's truly wonderful to me. You guys made this worth writing and it wouldn't have been finished without you. You're all so amazing. **

**As we get closer to the end, chapters are going to start coming faster. That's another awesome thing about writing short chapters; there's more of them quicker so I post more often! **

**Now, I just want to say about this chapter; it's a game changer. The Blaine you see in the beginning and the Blaine you get at the end really are going to be two different people. Cause and effect. He's going to change and here's where it really happens. Just wanted to make a note of that! **

**I love you all and keep reviewing because I love to hear what you think!**

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><p>Sitting on his bed, Blaine tried to control the violent sobs racking his body and making his chest ache. His throat burned, he could barely see through the tears swimming in his eyes, and his hands were shaking so badly that he couldn't hardly keep typing on his phone. After redoing the number three times, he finally got it right, hitting sending and pressing the phone to his ear.<p>

He had screwed up everything. He hadn't plan to. He had finally convinced himself that he should just move on, pretend Sebastian didn't exist, and try and fix things with Kurt. It was a good plan; solid and sure.

But then he called Kurt. It had been so simple. Call him, find out when he was coming home, telling him he wanted to reconnect. It was so easy and he had it all planned out, but then... He slipped. He lost it. He heard Kurt's voice and...

_"Kurt... You know I love you." he whispered, eyes already starting to tear up. He couldn't lie. He couldn't hide this anymore. He couldn't listen to that beautiful voice and know he was a fraud._

_"Of course, Blaine." Kurt replied, a smile in his voice. "And you can show me how much once I get home, and we can put all of this fighting behind u-"_

_"I slept with Sebastian."_

_There was a long silence and in that moment, Blaine began to cry. He tried to force it down and make himself be calm. He had to hold it together and apologize and tell him how wrong he knew it was._

_"Smythe?" Kurt's voice asked, completely different then it had been just seconds ago. It was hard now, and serious, and completely devoid of the happiness he had harbered over their impending reunification._

_"Y-yes." Blaine replied, his voice shaking as he tried to breathe properly._

_"I hope it was worth it."_

There was barely time for Blaine to register the click on the other line before he lost himself. He felt like his chest was caving in and his heart was pounding like it was trying to give up on him.

This wasn't Blaine. He wasn't a cheater or a heartbreaker. He didn't do this to people. He didn't cause pain for anyone.

But he also wasn't a liar.

In his hand, he phone vibrated and he jumped, nearly tossing it away from him as he tried to look at the screen. He expected Kurt's picture, but instead was faced with Sebastian.

Sebastian; the reason for all of his troubles. The cause of all this pain.

He hit the ignore button before typing Kurt's number again. Another rejection and then the phone rang once more.

"Are you watching me?" he yelled at Sebastian's display picture before he ignored it again. He couldn't handle all of this. He couldn't take the pain of hearing Kurt's voice over and over again.

_'I hope it was worth it.'_

_bing!_

He looked at the phone, seeing he had a new voicemail. His finger hovered over the delete button, ready to rid himself of yet another rambling speech about how sorry Sebastian was and how he never meant for any of this to happen.

A strange sensation hit him and he shifted his finger to listen, hitting speaker and waiting through the robotic voice to tell him when he received the message.

"Blaine," a broken voice came through the phone. It was tired and almost pained, causing him to be immediately alarmed. "I know you hate me and I expect you to. I get it." the voice continued through his room, permeating the silence. "But I need help. Please. Hate me all you want, but I don't have anyone else."

There was the sound of movement and then a muffled scream that had Blaine scrambling off his bed as he heard what sounded like the phone being dropped. He hung up as he grabbed his jacket and keys off his bed, dialing Sebastian's number without a second thought.

He didn't let himself think, pressing the phone to his ear and heading downstairs. It didn't matter that it was late or that he only had a vague idea of where Sebastian lived. His mind was on autopilot, all thoughts of Kurt and what had just happened replaced by the sound of Sebastian crying out in pain in that message.

He didn't think. He didn't care anymore. He just drove. He just kept driving and looking at every house on the street he knew Sebastian lived on until he saw his familiar car.

Pulling into the driveway, he looked at the front of the house and his fear shot through the roof. The door was wide open and the lights in the house were off. Stepping out of the car, he saw gravel scattered across the ground and noticed skid marks, like someone had pulled out too quickly.

Still running on adrenaline, he rushed inside the house, calling out Sebastian's name. His first instinct was the living room, but it was silent. Next he checked the kitchen, but still no reply. He was almost hysterical by the time he reached the sitting room at the back of the house. Pushing open the door, his eyes scanned the room quickly. It was dark, but he locked on to the lumpy form on the couch.

"Sebastian?" he said quietly, flicking on the light. There was a moan from that area and he rushed over, crouching down next to him.

Sebastian opened his eyes warily and he immediately teared up. "You're really here." he whispered, his voice cracking as he tried to speak above a whisper.

He groaned loudly as he tried to sit up, his face twisting in pain.

He looked like hell.

His eye was swollen shut and his lip was split open, but no longer bleeding. His hand was placed firmly on his side and when he tried to move, he clutched it tighter.

"Sebastian, stay still." Blaine said immediately, pushing back down on his shoulder gently.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry," he mumbled weakly, crying softly. "I messed up everything. For you, for me, for Kurt... I didn't used to care but-"

"Hush." Blaine said firmly, already dialing something on his phone. "Don't talk right now. I'm going to get help." he promised, looking at him worriedly. He didn't know what happened here, but nothing else mattered right now.

Looking at Sebastian right now, he felt no anger toward him. All previous aggression was gone. There was no pain left over Kurt or anything to do with him. He had no feelings toward that entire situation.

Nothing mattered except for the soft whimpering noises Sebastian was making, the black eye he was sporting, and whatever may be wrong with his ribs.

Nothing mattered except helping him, because the longer he was in pain, the more heartache Blaine felt, and he just couldn't bare it anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

**So, we're getting really close to the end. Maybe four more chapters and an epilogue? Maybe? Yep. Here ya go!**

* * *

><p>The hospital waiting room was nearly empty and Blaine couldn't help but watch the clock ticking down to midnight. He had been sitting on the uncomfortable plastic chairs for some time now, though he couldn't remember the exact amount of hours.<p>

Sebastian had fought him about the trip here. He had yelled and told him to shove a number of items where the sun doesn't shine, and in the end he was begging, but Blaine had the upper hand in that he was stronger and Sebastian was in too much pain to do anything but go along with him.

It was a grim walk to the car, wincing and moaning coming from both of them as every step agitated the more-than-likely broken ribs Sebastian was sporting. Still, Blaine persevered. The last thing he needed was to have it on his conscience that he left him like this. He just couldn't do it.

_'I've let him suffer enough.'_ he had thought as he helped him into the front seat slowly.

The ride had been silent, just like they were for the rest of the night. Sebastian out of stubbornness and Blaine from his own ignorance. He had no idea what truly happened to cause this mess in front of him and there would be no sharing on Sebastian's part any time soon.

Not that he had expected it. As stubborn as he had been when he didn't look like he had been beaten by a gang of homophobic assholes, that seemed to be amplified by his current situation.

It was all too much. Standing there as the doctor poked and prodded him in the tiny office, when he was just supposed to be getting his vitals checked. The looks they were both getting when he looked at the cut on his lip and the bruise on his eyes. It was so obvious he thought Blaine was the responsible party.

A battered boyfriend in an abusive relationship. As if there wasn't enough judgement when he had to say that he was sexually activity and it wasn't with women.

The topper, though, was when they made Blaine leave. The stricken look on Sebastian's face was more than enough to break Blaine's heart. He had brought him here and forced him to endure this, and he couldn't even be with him through it. They both knew it wasn't his fault, but Blaine couldn't help but feel he had betrayed Sebastian in some way.

And now he was just waiting. Waiting for visiting hours or a kind nurse to come update him, even though he isn't family or a spouse. Waiting to find out how extensive the damage was or maybe a call from Sebastian's parents.

Waiting for anything at all. Because in his mind, the possibilities were endless, and he just wanted answers.

* * *

><p>Wincing in pain, Sebastian tried hard not to reach out and punch his doctor straight in the nose. "Dammit!" he cried out as he was mercilessly poked and prodded and stuck with needles. His ribs were on fire from being messed with and the back of his hand itched where the foreign needle had been placed.<p>

"It'll stop burning in a moment," the doctor told him, not even looking at him as he scribbled something down in his chart. "Then we can set your ribs properly and wrap them without you feeling it as much as the first time."

_As much_. Sebastian rolled the words around in his head. "So, in other words, it's still going to fucking hurt, but you gave me something so you don't have to feel bad." he growled out, wishing he could lie on his good side instead of his back. Every breath was labored and painful. His lungs felt like they were working over time as he was sure his chest was caving in.

The doctor almost smiled at that, which only served to piss Sebastian off more.

This was why he hadn't wanted to come to the damn hospital. Assholes in white coats who think they know everything because they play God and little old ladies who can't hardly see what they're doing anymore but are still trying to be nurses. Not to mention the mundane white walls and floors and ceilings that make a person feel trapped inside of a box with no way of escaping.

If he was being honest, hospitals scared him. In his weakest moment, he had cried and begged not to come, but Blaine was insistent. In any other circumstance, he would have teased him and told him he should be careful because his care was showing.

Not now. Not in this situation.

Still, it may have calmed him a little to know Blaine did care. Obviously, or he wouldn't have gone through all this trouble for him. He wouldn't be sitting in the lobby with nothing to keep him company if he didn't care, would he?

Sebastian knew he was still there. The poor nurse that had gotten screamed at once Blaine had left assured him as much and kept assuring him every time she came in the room. He didn't need it, though. Blaine had told him as much on his own.

_'I won't leave. I'll be in here the second visiting hours start. I promise._'

And with a gentle squeeze of Sebastian's hand, he was gone.

"So, doc, do you always hustle out the loved ones so you can torture the patients?" he asked, just to get his mind off Blaine and his situation. They had asked many questions and he had heard talk of bringing in a psychiatrist to talk to him, but it didn't matter. If he wouldn't talk to Blaine about this, they'd have a hell of a time getting him to open up to a stranger.

The doctor glanced at him for once and the corner of his mouth tilted up in a half smile. "Observant." he said, and Sebastian wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. "Yes, we like to get the poor sick person all alone before the real damage starts."

So, maybe his doctor wasn't so bad.

"Good one." he said quietly, wincing as he tried to shift into a better position. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been early and he had to pin that on the drugs in his system.

Noticing this, the doctor came back to his side and started touching his ribs gently. Again, Sebastian winced, but he noticed the pain wasn't nearly as horrible.

"Alright, I'm going to need you to sit up and try not to scream." the doctor said, smirking again.

Nope. Wrong again. This doctor was horrible.

* * *

><p>Hours were passing and Blaine was exhausted. He was sure he had dozed off at least once or twice, maybe more, waiting for the sun to rise. His eyes were fixed on the window as the sky began to lighten and they would flicker toward the clock constantly as seven approached.<p>

6:59 and he was out of his seat and headed toward the elevator, already knowing exactly what floor Sebastian was on.

The nurse at the desk watched him go, smiling a little and shaking her head. She had never seen such dedication in a relationship. Whatever had happened to the one upstairs was going to cause them enough problems, but she had hope they would make it through this.

Watching that poor, ragged, tired boy sit in her lobby all night was enough to give her that.


	13. Chapter 13

**We're in the home stretch! Hang in there guys, because this is where it'll start getting better. :D **

* * *

><p>"So, you're really not going to tell me anything?"<p>

Standing across the room, propped up on the window sill, Blaine watched Sebastian push around the hospital food on the tray in front of him. His eyes were fixed on the mashed potatoes and his fork was squashing them viciously as he remained silent.

"You can call me in a panic," Blaine continued, almost sounding amused, "-crying and sobbing and begging for help, but when I do help, you can't explain why I did it?" he asked, but he was well aware he wasn't getting any answers. Sebastian had been just as silent when the doctors had asked and there wasn't much any of them could do about it.

It had been two days of silence and recovery on both their parts. Blaine had gone home once to get clothes, but he never left the hospital. Sebastian wouldn't admit it to him, but while Blaine was gone, he had had a panic attack. The nurse had told Blaine when he asked what had happened while he was gone and he had been floored by the news.

He didn't know how to feel. He hadn't heard from Kurt again and he had eventually stopped checking his phone completely. Sebastian was lying in a hospital bed, desperate for him to be around but refusing to give him answers as to why, and he didn't know how to feel at all.

"I tripped." Sebastian said suddenly, eyes focused on his plate still. His voice was so clinical, like he had been thinking this over for some time and was just making a decision. "I was at the top of the staircase and I tripped. My own clumsiness."

Blaine knew he was lying. There was no way he could have tripped, injuring himself so severely, and ended up across the house on the couch. He could barely sit up with Blaine found him. It was just impossible.

"Good story." he replied simply, crossing his arms and staring Sebastian down. When he looked up, there was a deadened look to his eyes. Like he wasn't really there or everything he was saying was rehearsed.

"That's what I tell people." he said quietly, dropping his fork and pushing the tray away. Blaine walked over to the bed slowly, rolling it away and taking the seat on the hard wooden chair beside him, not saying a word. "That's the story. I fell down the stairs."

"The story?" Blaine asked quietly, realizing what he was confessing here. Something had happened but he couldn't talk about it. Something had happened before that he couldn't talk about either.

He was opening up. It was finally happening.

"Please stop asking." Sebastian begged suddenly, his voice broken and haggard. He sounded so tired and it showed through his eyes and his posture. "I can't talk to you, Blaine. I can't."

The weariness he was exuding was enough to make Blaine simply nod and lean forward, taking his hand. There was a tense moment where Sebastian almost pulled away, but he relaxed finally. Turning his hand over, he wrapped his fingers around Blaine's own hand and held on to him.

"Okay," Blaine said simply, squeezing gently. "I won't ask."

* * *

><p>Sitting in the front seat of his car, Blaine looked over at Sebastian worriedly. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, shutting off the engine but not moving to get out and help him.<p>

Sebastian looked toward his house and Blaine could almost see the wheels turning inside his head. It was like watching a game of tennis, but not seeing the players. The internal conflict was so clear on his face and the struggle was obvious.

"I have to." he said finally, glancing over at Blaine but looking away quickly. "They haven't called yet, but they will soon and they'll be angry if they have to go to all that trouble."

All that trouble. Blaine had to force himself not to seethe with rage at the very idea that Sebastian's parents cared so little. Sure, his parents weren't the greatest, but he would hope they would notice if he went missing for two days without a word.

"You can call me." he told him finally, at a loss for any better response. "Any time. Even if you just decide you want take out and your favorite place doesn't deliver."

He saw the smile creep onto Sebastian's face at his words and relief washed through him. He wasn't completely gone. Duller, more lifeless and obviously unhappy, but he was still in there. He wasn't teasing Blaine or flirting, but he had smiled and that was good enough for now.

"Thank you." he said in response to Blaine's words, but it held so much more. _Thank you for that. Thank you for the ride home. Thank you for helping me._

_Thank you for saving me._

Blaine moved to get out and helping him inside, but Sebastian stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'll be fine. Just go home." he told him, offering up a half smile before opening the door and slowly getting out.

Blaine watched him walk up the steps of through the front door, not moving until it closed behind him. Even then, he hesitated. Worry bubbled up inside of him, ready to burst from him and consume him at any moment as he waited. What he was waiting for, he didn't know.

Finally, he started the car and pulled out of the driveway, repeating the same phrase over and over again to calm himself;

_He called once, he'll call again._


	14. Chapter 14

**HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!**

**And as a gift to all of you amazing people, I will be uploading the last three chapter RIGHT NOW! So be ready!**

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><p>The next morning, Sebastian still hadn't called. Blaine went through his morning ritual as usual, showering and changing and getting ready to go to the gym, wondering if he had been wrong. What if Sebastian just didn't call again? What if this was it? All of the problems and then the two day hospital stay and then... nothing?<p>

When his phone rang, Blaine was unprepared and nearly fell over his desk, stubbing his toe on the corner in his rush.

"Fu-" he started to cry out as he grabbed the phone, hitting call before he really looked at the screen. "Hello?" he said, his voice gruff as he tried not to let on to how much pain he was in.

"Did I catch you in the middle of something?" an annoyed voice said. It was most definitely not the one he had been expected and he pulled the phone away in shock. Kurt's name flashed up at him and he held back a groan.

He wasn't prepared for this. So much had been happening so quickly since that damn night and he was still processing. What he had done, what was happening to Sebastian, and what Kurt must have been thinking were all things that had been on his mind, but the latter was the one getting the least attention.

"Blaine?"

The irritation spiked on the other line and he scrambled to reply, barely getting out a grunt of recognition before clearing his throat. "Sorry, I was... getting ready." he mumbled, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "But I'm glad you called." he added immediately, though he was trying not to feel too relieved.

"Don't be." Kurt countered briskly.

If Blaine had ever thought he could feel his heart sink, it would have been in that moment.

"I just wanted to clarify a few things." Kurt continued without pause or care. "We're over. Done. Finished. I'm not the guy who will let someone get away with what you did." He sounded so clinical that Blaine didn't even think to argue. He just sat in silence, listening.

"I expect you to leave my friends alone, which they tell me you've been doing regardless, so just keep it up." he continued on, and Blaine was starting to wonder how he could be so emotionless. He was doing his damnedest to keep the tears at bay, refusing to fall apart, but Kurt sounded like he was reading from a medical textbook, rather than ending their relationship.

"And don't call me." he finished. "Ever again."

Blaine hesitated for a moment before sighing. "If that's what you want." he said, his voice cracking and making him wince. Why couldn't he be so distant?

"It is." Kurt replied. He heard movement in the background and then a sigh in return. "This hurts me too, Blaine. Goodbye."

He didn't wait for Kurt to hang up on him. He dropped his phone, not even caring where it landed, as he fell back on the bed and tried to keep himself in check. He couldn't afford to breakdown over this. He had shed enough tears.

But this was really it. His first relationship, his first love, and it was all ruined. Everything he had worked so hard to make perfect; the dates he had spent hours planning and the fights he had worked so hard to resolve and the beauty that had been their first time.

It was all over.

_'Had it really been there?'_ a voice in his head asked him.

Of course he had loved Kurt. Kurt had been everything to him for so long, even before he had realized it. His confidant, his friend, and in the end, he had saved Blaine from himself without even knowing it. He had made him see that love was still possible and that people could still care about him.

Then New York happened. NYADA and the bright lights of Broadway started calling to Kurt and Blaine had no chance. If it had come down to him or New York, he never would have made Kurt choose; the choice was clear. His future held far too much for Blaine to hold him back.

_'Maybe it had just been a long time coming.'_ he thought as he got up from the bed to wash his face again. _'If Sebastian hadn't been around, it would have been something else.' _

He could never know these things for sure, but what he did know was that by the end of it all, things weren't as perfect as they should have been. Maybe he was to blame, and in fact, a lot of it was his fault. Still, they hadn't been happy, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

As he shut off the faucet, he heard his ringtone playing in the bedroom. Not Kurt's, but Sebastian's.

_Finally._


	15. Chapter 15

**Sebastian Smythe: (9:38 P.M.)**_  
>I'll be away and this phone is getting shut off. Bye.<em>

Blaine opened the text again on Friday morning. It had been a week since Sebastian had gotten out of the hospital and since he had gotten that stupid message. A whole week with only eleven words to show for everything they went through.

Maybe it was the bye that got to him. So simple. No emotion. Just a word. It meant absolutely nothing.

_'But that's not true.' _he thought to himself as he waited for him last class to start. '_I can't pretend I don't mean anything to him.' _The voicemails and the missed calls from their time together, whatever that time might be called, were enough of a reminder that he certain was someone special to Sebastian.

He just had to remind himself that Sebastian had things to deal with. He had a life to put back together and problems to solve, and he still had to recover, and maybe he just couldn't do it all with Blaine around.

Time. He just needed time.

And so did Blaine. They both had so much to figure out, and Blaine would take this time and figure himself out again.

He had lost his way so much. He had let his problems destroy everything and he had ruined his entire life. Almost.

After talking with all of his teachers on Monday, he had found ways to do extra credit and brings his grades back up. He had felt so hopeless after everything, but there was still a light at the end of the tunnel. He still had something to hold onto.

His future. He wasn't letting it slip away again. Whether it included Kurt or Sebastian or he was alone, he still had it and it was all that mattered now. It was all he needed.

* * *

><p>Shoving the box in his arms in the back seat of the Impala, Sebastian straightened up slowly to face his house. It looked as it always did, with it's decorative doors and shrubs blocking the front windows; secluded and guarded.<p>

A prison.

A hand on his shoulder broke the morbid thoughts he was having before the could fully form and he turned to look at Claire. He hadn't seen her in so long because, unlike him, she had escaped their parents ages ago.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked her quietly, leaning against the passenger door of her car and smiling at her softly. "Having your annoying kid brother around could cramp your style."

She laughed, brushing her hair out of her face and shaking her head. "I'd rather you cramp my style for the rest of time than see you like I did the other day." she told him finally, her voice almost too serious.

His smile dropped away and he nodded a little. "I'll get a job and help with bills and stuff." he promised for the millionth time.

She rolled her eyes, going around the car. "Just shut up and get in before I change my mind. We'll worry about all that tomorrow." she said, sliding in on the driver's side.

He had been shocked out of his mind when Claire had shown up two days previous. When he was fifteen and she was eighteen, she had skipped town without even leaving a note. She made her grand getaway and never looked back.

He didn't know how she knew to come back now or why she did, but he was glad. When she walked in and saw him on the couch, eye still slightly swollen and an ice pack on his ribs, she went on a packing spree. Cuss words he had never even heard of came flying from her mouth and she told their parents, in no uncertain terms, that if they didn't let him leave, she'd do whatever she had to do.

Not that they put up much of a fight. Their father practically bought her the boxes to put his things in. In other circumstances, that probably would have hurt Sebastian's feelings, but not anymore.

Looking out at the road as they pulled away from the house, he couldn't have cared less if his parents had begged him to stay. He was getting away. Finally free of all the pain his family had caused him and maybe he could finally start again.

But first, he had a call to make.


	16. Chapter 16

Standing in front of the teacher's desk, Blaine watched as she marked a red 'A' on his paper. He felt the knots in his stomach loosen as he sighed in relief.

"Very good job, Mr. Anderson." she said, standing up and offering him a warm smile. "I have to say, I was worried about you for a while there, but if you keep this up, you should be fine by the end of the year." she assured him, nodding a little.

He smiled in return, grabbing his bag and taking the test back. "Thank you. That's good to hear." he told her, not mentioning that he had been worried about himself as well.

Not anymore. He had it all under control.

"I'll see you Monday." she said, going back to grading her papers.

He left without another word, his phone starting to ring as soon as he walked out of the class room. He froze for a moment before digging around in his bag and pulling it out. The number was unfamiliar to him, but he answered regardless.

"Hello?"

"Blaine Anderson. Good to know your still alive."

Relief coursed through him at the sound of Sebastian's voice. It had been two long weeks of them not speaking and he hadn't expected to miss him as much as he did. Clearly, it was more than he had thought because he could feel something in his chest loosening a little when he spoke.

His worry was gone and it was being replaced.

Joy, because Sebastian had called again. Relief, because he was okay. So many emotions that he couldn't even name.

"It's only been two weeks." he finally replied, his voice cracking a little against his will. He cleared his throat, trying again. "I'm actually surprised. I figured you'd slipped off the face of the Earth."

There was a soft laugh from the other end that he had missed more than he would admit. "Wouldn't that have been a tragedy?"

_'Yes.'_ Blaine thought immediately.

"But listen..." Sebastian continued, his voice going serious. "I want you to come meet me. For coffee." he requested, sounding almost nervous.

It was as if he thought Blaine would say no.

"I'll see you in five." Blaine replied, smiling a little because he knew it wasn't what Sebastian was expecting.

He didn't wait for a reply, hanging up and having to keep himself from sprinting out to his car and speeding toward the Lima Bean.

Sebastian had finally called. Better yet, he wanted to meet. He didn't know what all his feelings were, but they weren't bad and he would take it because... God, he couldn't wait to see Sebastian again.

* * *

><p>Sitting in one of the back booths, Sebastian twirled his coffee cup in his hands, watching the door for any sign of entrance. He had already been sitting here when he made his phone call to Blaine and he had been waiting rather impatiently as five minutes slowly crept by.<p>

They were going on eight when the tiny bell finally clanged above the door and Sebastian's very own savior walked in. He saw his eyes dart around, searching for him, and brightening when they landed on the booth.

Lifting up the coffee in front of him, he gestured for him to come over. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face when Blaine didn't hesitate, slipping into the booth across from him.

There was a silent moment as Blaine took him in and vice versa. Two weeks may not seem long, but they could see all the tiny changes in each other for what they were.

Blaine was less ragged. Less depressed. His eyes were brighter than they had been in a long time and Sebastian's heart swelled just looking at him. It was like the first time he had seen him all over again and it was so beautiful. It was everything he had missed for so long.

Sebastian's eye was almost completely healed, a dark yellow bruise still around it, but otherwise he looked good. The normal dark rims that circled his eyes were no longer present and Blaine hadn't even realized he noticed them before.

"You look good." Sebastian said finally, breaking the silence. "I want to ask but..." he trailed off, looking down at his coffee.

"Not your place?" Blaine finished, smiling a little as he finally let himself relax. Sebastian glanced up at him before nodding slightly. "It's okay." he told him, shrugging. "Kurt and I aren't together anymore. We shouldn't be. A lot of mistakes were made, and this is for the best." he clarified, because he knew exactly what Sebastian wanted to know.

"It wasn't your fault." he added when Sebastian didn't look so appeased. "If it hadn't been you, I would have done something else to mess it up, but I'm okay with that. I'm getting myself together now."

Sebastian smiled at that, taking a sip of his coffee. "I'm glad to hear it." he told him. He saw the expectant look on Blaine's face and rolled his eyes. "I moved in with my sister. That's why I've been out of commission. My parents took the phone and everything they gave me except clothes." he told him with a shrug. The appalled look on Blaine's face almost made him laugh. "It's okay. I'm glad to be out of there."

Blaine bit his lip, trying to think of the appropriate thing to say. "I didn't know you had a sister." he replied lamely, wanting to smack himself for such a stupid comment.

Sebastian either didn't notice or didn't mind, because he continued talking without missing a beat. "Sometimes I would forget, too. She hasn't been around a lot." he explained easily. "But she lives close, so I'm still going to Dalton. I got a job, bought my own phone, and called you." he concluded.

"Why?" Blaine asked, a little confused. "Why'd you call?"

This caused another kind of pause in the conversation. It was charged and loaded and the wrong words could ruin everything, which they both knew.

"You saved me."

The admission was more than enough to make Blaine stomach do strange flips and twists, but he remained silent, wanting more.

"I'd still be there if you hadn't... Well, maybe I wouldn't be there. God knows where I'd be." he said quietly, no longer looking at Blaine as he let the emotions he had spent so long holding back overwhelm him for once. "I owe you a lot, Blaine. I don't know how to repay it, but you made me want to get better."

_For you._

He didn't say it. It was too soon. Blaine was just recently single and it was too much for both of them.

But maybe someday.

"Friends?" he asked finally, because that's all he needed for now. He just needed Blaine in his life, somehow, some way.

Blaine smiled at him, reaching across the table and taking his hand gently.

"Friends."


	17. Epilogue

The wind ghosted through Blaine's hair, sending the loose curls falling into his eyes even as he reached up to brush them back. The ground was warm beneath him and the sun on his face felt amazing as he laid out in the yard.

It was the start of summer. The end of school was only a few days away, and he was proud to say he had passed with straight As and had an audition for Julliard lined up in a month or so. Things were finally falling into place and he wasn't sure there was a time when he had been happier in his life.

Looking down at his stomach, he smiled at the way Sebastian's face looked; so peaceful and content. He was laying opposite to Blaine, his head resting on Blaine's stomach as it rose and fell in time with each breath.

So calm. Relaxed.

"So, when you leave," Sebastian mumbled, breaking the silent bubble of happiness they had been in. Blaine tensed at his words and apparently he could feel it because his eyes flashed open to look at him, a smile already forming on his lips. "Calm down. I was just going to ask if you wouldn't mind a companion." he said immediately, not wanting him to freak out.

Blaine mulled his words over, so dazed and lost in the beauty around him that it took a while for their meaning to hit him. He pushed Sebastian's shoulder up, making him move so he could sit up. "What do you mean?" he asked urgently. He needed clarification; he needed him to say it.

"I want to come with you." Sebastian offered up immediately, hope dancing in his eyes.

Without thinking or planning, Blaine leaned forward. His hands reached out, catching Sebastian's face between them and holding it gently as their lips crashed together. It was like an old dance that was well learned, though they hadn't done this since that night so long ago, when they made a mistake that changed Blaine's life.

And yet, it was as if they had never stopped. Their lips moved as one and they didn't even need to speak for them both to know what was being felt.

Pulling back, Blaine was breathing heavily and he couldn't seem to get the words out fast enough. "Yes, I want you to come. God, that's all I've wanted since I found out I was going and I've just been waiting for you to say you wan-"

He was cut off by a hand covering his mouth as Sebastian laughed softly. "Blaine, stop." he said quietly, pulling away to look at him. "I want to go with you, but not just as friends. If I go, it's because I've learned from the mistakes we've both made and the way things ended with you and Kurt." he told him.

Blaine was slightly confused, but he nodded slowly.

"If I go, it's because you want this just as much as I do and we don't want to be apart." he clarified. "Now... Am I coming, or not?"

Blaine smiled, pulling Sebastian back to kiss him briefly. He put everything he had into the simple kiss; certainty and want and desperation and, God help him, love. There was nothing in this world he needed more than for Sebastian to come with him. Spending the entire semester as friends had sounded good in the beginning but in this moment? He needed more.

"If you don't come, I'm going to be so pissed," he said once he pulled away, almost smirking. "Because I can't get a refund on the second ticket I already bought."

Sebastian's eyes widened before he broke out into a grin, pushing Blaine back onto the grass and hovering over him. "You could have told me." he said menacingly.

"Now, where's the fun in that?" he asked, laughing through his words.

He laughed for the moment and he laughed because this beautiful boy wanted to go to New York with him. He laughed because just a few months ago, he never would have even dreamed of this happening.

He laughed, because he had something to be happy about, and it wasn't going away any time soon.

Not if either of them could help it.


End file.
